


Meet Me at the Call Room

by cupramyeon (supersoo)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, DoctorAU, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Slice of Life, surgeonau, this is also on asianfanfics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:08:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26104711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supersoo/pseuds/cupramyeon
Summary: Jongin always had a crush on Kyungsoo in med school. But he never dared make a move on him because...he never really knew anything about the mysterious top student. They're fully fledged doctors now, and Jongin was accepted in a neurosurgery program at one of the most prestigious hospitals in Seoul. Only two applicants were accepted each year, and the other doctor that got in? It was Kyungsoo.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	1. 24/7

"Shit, I'm going to be late." 

I'm rushing to the subway station. Keys and wallet? Check. Stethoscope? Check. Scrubs? Check. White coat? Check. I felt like I was missing something but couldn't figure out what. Oh well. 

It's 6:40 AM on a Monday. I have to be at the hospital by 7:00 AM. I knew I should've got an apartment near the hospital but decided against it since I knew I'd probably be "living" in the hospital anyway. I guess that's why they call it residency. 

_"Arriving at Bongcheon station. Bongcheon station."_

Okay, three minutes left. I ran to the hospital, weaving through the rush hour crowd. Two minutes. Thank God I was first in line at the elevator. Please, please don't stop at another floor. One minute. Tenth floor. We're here. Wait, where's the neurosurg office? Okay, it's at the left. 

"Good morning, ma'am. I'm the new intern." I said to the chief resident while panting.

"You're late."

What? It's exactly 7:00 AM...

"I'm sorry ma'am"

"You should be here at least ten minutes before the time you're required to sign in." 

"I'm sorry again. I'll do better next time."

"Yeah. I'm Dr. Park Haneul, the department chief resident. This is your co-intern..."

I look to my right. _Holy shit_. Those eyes. Those big eyes with the black-framed glasses. I'd recognize them from a mile away. My med school crush.

His eyes locked with mine. He'd probably been staring at me judgingly from the time I got here. I kept panting. 

"....Dr. Doh Kyungsoo."

I extend my right hand timidly. He stands up and shakes it with his. His hand was so soft, like it was born to do surgery. 

"Uh...hey. Hi." I look at the chief. 

"We were classmates in med school."

"Oh yeah? I didn't notice that in your applications."

I let out a shy laugh. Kyungsoo managed a smirk with those heart-shaped lips. 

"So you guys are friends?"

"We didn't really talk a lot in school." Kyungsoo said. 

"More of acquaintances, I guess." I clarified. 

If only Kyungsoo knew how much I wanted to be friends with him. How much I wanted to be _more_ than friends. 

"Well that's enough of the pleasantries. Dr. Kim, change into your scrubs. Your sweat is stinking up the office." Dr. Park snapped at me.

"Ah yes, I'm sorry."

I excused myself and went to the men's bathroom. We haven't been shown around the hospital yet, so I had no idea where the call room was.

"I didn't know he'll go here." I thought to myself.

I didn't even know he'll do neurosurgery. Heck, I knew nothing about him at all. We barely talked in school. I was too nervous to talk to him.

I just knew him through people's stories and my personal observations. He was the stereotypical quiet mysterious boy in class, but he had leadership potential.

He always knew what to do, and he could do _anything_. He can sing, dance, act, recite the spinal tracts from memory...he was just so good at eveything. 

I guess that's what attracted me to him in the first place. Well, there's also the minor detail that he's incredibly handsome.

But still were going to be together for _seven years_. That's how long neurosurgery residency is.

"Seven years..." I sighed to myself. I was probably more scared of the fact I'll be with him that long than my residency itself.

I went back to the neurosurgery office.

"Finally you're here. Doctors, follow me" Dr. Park shot up from her seat and dragged us out of the office.

She toured us around the hospital. We were power walking. Is this how all surgeons walk?

"Welcome to Seoul General Hospital. You're the lucky two that made it into neurosurg, so we expect you to do your best and finish the program."

Kyungsoo and I look at each other nervously.

We got to see the operating rooms, neurology wards, the neuro ICU, the cafeteria.

We also got to meet the other neurosurgery residents in the upper years. They looked _so_ tired, but you can feel an aura of experience radiating from them.

Last stop was the call room.

"Welcome to your second home." Dr. Park said. "Hopefully you'll still be be able to sleep here. I just slept in the nurse's station most of my intern year.", she added.

"I'll leave you two to get lunch. Be ready to scrub in by 1PM." Dr. Park left hurriedly.

The call room was old and dingy, but hey, I'll sleep anywhere. There were also pictures of previous classes, they were probably great neurosurgeons by now.

The stove and small refrigerator piqued Kyungsoo's interest. "I'll bring something to cook with tomorrow." he said.

"You can cook?"

"Yeah. It's a hobby of mine."

And that's another item on the List of Things Doh Kyungsoo Can Do.

"Do you want the top bunk? Or the bottom bunk?" I asked.

"I'll take the top bunk, since I'm smaller than you."

"Uh...yeah, cool." We were still awkward with each other. 

"Want to grab a bite?" I felt like I was asking someone out on a date. Kyungsoo just nodded.

We went to the hospital cafeteria. I got jjajangmyeon, and Kyungsoo got kimchi jjigae.

I was nervous as I sat across him at lunch.

I wolfed down my noodles. I just realized I didn't eat breakfast, since I was running late earlier.

Kyungsoo was savoring every slurp of his soup, like he was looking for a particular ingredient. He even smelled it at one point.

"Is it bad?" Back in medical school, hospital cafeteria food wasn't always the freshest.

"No it's not, actually. It's really good. I kinda want to know what ingredients they put in this, it's not your ordinary kimchi jjigae."

"You must be really good at cooking, huh?" I was intrigued.

"Well my family loves my cooking, so there's that."

I wanted to ask him to marry me, but it was just our first meal together.

"I didn't know you were gonna go here."

"Well, it's not like we were close back in school." Ouch.

"Everyone just knew where the top students would go for residency" I replied shyly.

"I'm actually more suprised that _you're_ here." Again, ouch.

"Well, my grades are above average, and I guess the interviewers saw something in me."

"Did you dance for them? You're a pretty good dancer." he said with sly smirk.

What. I always danced for events in school, but...I didn't know he watched me. I was trying my best not to blush.

"No, I didn't." I said with a small chuckle.

"I was just joking."

"I know." He jokes with people. That I _didn't_ know.

We went back at 1PM and started to scrub. Our task for the day was to assist in surgeries. I went in to a brain tumor removal, while Kyungsoo had to assist a spine surgery.

It was so exhilirating for me. The precision and beauty of it all. The way the surgeon had to cut so finely so as to not damage the brain tissue that makes a person who they are. I was just retracting skin but I fell in love with neuro again. Maybe it was the first day high.

My surgery ended at around midnight. I went back to the call room, and saw Kyungsoo lying on the top bunk, playing with his phone.

"What time did you end?" I asked as I threw myself on my bed.

"5 PM I think?"

"Oh yeah, how was it?"

"It was gruesome, as spine surgery always is. But it was cool."

"Yeah, I remember observing on a spine surgery in med school. I almost threw up."

Kyungsoo let out a small laugh.

"So what did you do afterwards?" I was trying to maintain the conversation.

"Dr. Park had me check on the post-op patients. Oh yeah, she told me that we should go with her on rounds at 3 AM."

"3 AM? Whoa, we never rounded that early in med school."

"Well, that's residency for you." Kyungsoo said with a hint of sass.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Suprisingly I wasn't sleepy yet. Maybe the adrenaline rush was still there.

"Hey, I hope we get along well." I poked out my head to look at him.

"Yeah, don't worry about that. You seem cool." I wanted him to look at me too.

"We'd have to be together for seven years!"

He poked his head out and looked at me.

"I don't mind", he said while smiling.


	2. Oasis

_"NEUROSURGERY TO EMERGENCY ROOM NOW. NEUROSURGERY TO EMERGENCY ROOM NOW."_

The announcement jolted me from my bed. I'd been trying to stay awake trying to wait for any calls, but since I live in a world where good things don't happen to me, the call just had to come when I had fallen asleep.

I look at my watch. It's 4:05 AM. I have to be there in five minutes or else the patient dies.

Okay, that's a bit exaggerated. But still, I have. To fucking. Run.

I meet up with my senior resident, Dr. Choi, at the ER's entrance. He's leading the ER Team this shift.

"Do you have the tackle box?" he asked in a hurry.

"Yes, sir." The tackle box contains the medications that will hopefully save the patient's life.

"Check the patient for me, will you?"

"Yes, sir." If I had a dollar for every yes, thank you, and this is noted I've said to senior doctors this past week I would've been rich.

* * *

I check my patient. I couldn't get a proper history because of the patient's slurred speech. There were no relatives around, either. The ER doctor who initially saw him said bystanders just found him collapsed near a convenience store. Probably drinking since he smelled of soju. He had facial asymmetry and can't raise one arm. Classic stroke, I think. I go back to Dr. Choi, who was reading the patient's chart.

"I think it's a stroke, Dr. Choi. Probably middle cerebral artery." I said feeling confident.

"Are you sure?"

"It's pretty textbook." I had zero doubt.

"Textbook, huh? Okay then. The ER attending ordered a CT scan to be sure."

"Okay. I'll take the patient to Radiology then." I felt a knot in my stomach. Did I miss something?

I was looking at the patient while he was being put through the CT machine. I reviewed what I saw from his physical exam in my head over and over while the patient was in there. I was still sure of my diagnosis.

After 15 minutes, I received the radiologist's CT scan reading for my patient:

> Hyperdense material filling the subarachnoid space. Consider subarachnoid hemorrhage.

Ah shit.

* * *

Dr. Choi let out a big sigh while scratching his temple. 

"Still textbook for you?" he quipped.

"I'm sorry." That's another phrase I've probably said a billion times this week. But only then did I feel the weight of _"I'm sorry."_

"Be thankful that it was caught in time. I guess the patient is lucky that you're not scrubbed in his surgery right now. You would've killed him." Damn. As an intern you get pretty used to all the scolding, but this one stung.

"I'm sorry." I guess it was all I could say. I couldn't even look at Dr. Choi.

"Jongin, you're a doctor now. A real _doctor._ Nothing, and I really mean nothing, is ever textbook in medicine. Remember that."

"Yes, sir."

"Don't let me...or another patient remind you, ever again."

He bumped into my shoulder as he left. I deserved it. 

As I walked back to the call room, I passed by the outpatient clinics. I caught a glimpse of a familiar face through the window of one of the clinic doors.

Kyungsoo.

It was already 7 AM. Outpatients started to pour in to wait outside the clinics. 

He looked so dapper, wearing his long white coat over a blue striped shirt with a black tie. So _so_ handsome. His attending was the one talking to the patient but he was laughing along to the conversation. Those damn heart shaped lips. I could watch them smile and laugh all day. I instantly forgot that I was being scolded only a few minutes earlier.

We locked eyes through the window. I think he caught me. I got ashamed and continued on my way to the call room.

I felt like a teenager who saw his crush while walking to school. 

_Gosh, Jongin, get over yourself._

* * *

I went straight to the cupboard to look for food once I got to our call room. Just some ramyeon and crackers. Not the most comforting food for your bruised mind and soul who got a patient's diagnosis wrong. 

To my surprise, there was an Bacon Double Cheese egg drop sandwich on the table. It was still piping hot. On it was a post-it note that said:

> For Dr. Kim. From Dr. Doh.

Holy. Shit.

My schoolyard crush bought me breakfast? What the hell. I was screaming inside. Now I _really_ feel like a teenager. 

"What, can't colleagues buy breakfast for other colleagues?" I told myself. "This doesn't mean _anything_ , Jongin."

But how did he know I liked egg drop sandwiches? Specifically the Bacon Double Cheese ones?

"Okay, Jongin, it's just a coincidence. This means absolutely _nothing_." I was trying to calm down my heart. 

I sent him a selca of me with the sandwich. "Thanks for breakfast!" I wrote. 

No reply. He left me on seen.

"See, Jongin, absolutely nothing." _Damn it._

They say food tastes better when it's free. Well, it certainly does if your crush bought it for you.

* * *

My post-duty shift started after breakfast. I was asked to scrub into an aneurysm clipping. 

"You can do this, Jongin. It's a simple aneurysm clipping. No biggie." I said to myself as I entered into the OR.

The surgery was going well. Until the attending asked me a question.

"Dr. Kim, why did this patient present with double vision?"

"Um, sir...uh..." Come on Jongin. You know this. 

"Did you even review the patient's scans, doctor?"

"I did sir." I could feel cold sweat forming. 

"Okay, so where was this patient's aneurysm located?" 

"At the posterior communicating artery, sir." Okay, I knew that one.

"Good. So why did the patient have double vision?"

"Uh..." Damn it. I always hated anatomy questions. 

"Why do you want to be a neurosurgeon, Dr. Kim?" _Here we go._

"Uh...sir...I..." I was flustered.

"If you can't speak coherent sentences then you should just get out of my OR." _Shit._

"I'm sorry, sir."

"Go. I should've known better than let a doctor who made a misdiagnosis help me operate."

And that was how I was kicked out of the OR for the first time. 

"There's always a first time for everything, I guess." I was trying to console myself.

Two misses already. _What am I doing?_

* * *

I ate lunch with Kyungsoo. Ah, my solace in this cruel world.

"So, how's your day so far?" I can't believe Kyungsoo initiated the conversation.

"Well...pretty shit to say the least, I missed a subarachnoid hemorrhage _and_ I got kicked out of the OR."

"Oh wow." An uniterested reply.

"How about you?"

"Great so far. Saw some outpatients with Dr. Kang the entire morning. She commended me on how I can explain the patient's condition in layman's terms." He said with a smidge of bragging.

I looked at him with jealousy. He's still so good at _everything._

"You must really know what you're doing, huh? I guess that's just how top students are." I wonder if he felt the jealousy in my tone.

"We're _doctors,_ Jongin. We're supposed to know what we're doing."

He was right.

"I don't know, Kyungsoo. I mean, I _know_ what I should do and what I should answer, it's just that..."

"You _think_ you know. You don't know what _you don't know._ " he said while smirking at me.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I never see you study your cases...you wake up minutes before rounds or conferences. You can't rely on stock knowledge all the time, Jongin."

I was a tad bit offended. "I study all the time! You just don't see..."

"We spend all our downtime together in the call room. You either just sleep or play games..."

"So what are you saying, I'm lazy?"

Before Kyungsoo could answer, my pager went off. Dr. Park wanted to see me.

I shot Kyungsoo a glare before leaving. 

_Damn, that hurt. But he was right._

* * *

"You wanted to see me, Dr. Park?" I entered her office.

"Ah Jongin, please sit."

I sit quietly while I wait for her to finish brewing her coffee. 

"There have been some concerns about you, during your shift." She sounded serious.

"Word sure gets around fast, huh?" I said jokingly, but I started to get nervous.

"Of course. It does when it has something to do with your learning, which ultimately affects our patients."

"I'm sorry for everything...I'll do better next time."

Dr. Park let out a sigh. "One more strike, Jongin...and you're out."

"Out? What do you mean?" 

"You might get dropped from the program."

"What? It...it wasn't so serious..."

"You misdiagnosed a patient, Jongin. The patient could've died. And might I remind you that you're training in Seoul General Hospital, we hold our training standards to the highest level. Hence why they are so strict with us residents."

"I'll do better next time..." A new phrase entered into the Intern's Dictionary.

"You better. For your own good and our patients'."

I left her office feeling defeated. 

They want to fire me already. It wasn't even one month into residency. Maybe it was a mistake applying here? What was I thinking? I'm not cut out for this place. 

* * *

I walk into the call room, and see Kyungsoo...cooking.

"You're cooking?? In the call room??" I thought he was crazy.

"Yeah, didn't you see the ingredients I bought?"

"I guess not..." I was probably too fixated on the Bacon Double Cheese egg drop sandwich.

"But why are you cooking so suddenly?" 

My question caught him off guard. "Well, I just thought it would be a hassle to go to the cafeteria for dinner later, since we're busier in the evening."

"Oh. Yeah." He made sense.

"I'm sorry for what happened earlier. I didn't mean to offend you." He said while mixing whatever it was he was cooking.

"Don't mind it. I might be out of here next week, or tomorrow. I don't know when I'll fuck up next."

"What?" He looked concerned.

"They want to fire me."

"Jongin, I'm...I'm so sorry to hear that."

"Are you really? You should be happy. Less competition for you."

"Why would I think that? Residency isn't a competition. Here, try this." He hands me a bowl of what he was cooking. It was gukbap.

The gukbap was amazing. It was like a hug from Kyungsoo.

"You can still turn things around, Jongin."

"You think so?"

"I know so. You just need to realize that you don't know everything, and that's okay." He said while wearing the most comforting smile ever.

His pager went off. "I gotta go. Put the gukbap in the fridge after it cools down a bit." He shot up his seat and took his white coat off the hanger. 

"Hey, thanks a lot." I look at him while smiling. "For breakfast...this gukbap...the advice."

"Anytime." 

_I guess there are still good things in this world._


	3. Day After Day

_“Do you like that, hyung?” We were at it for an hour already._

_“Yeah…ah…don’t stop” Kyungsoo let out a small moan._

_His glasses were already fogging up. I found it hot._

_I kiss his neck._

_The back of his ear._

_“Go faster.” I love it when this hyung tells me to do something. Commanding me._

_I thrust faster._

_And faster._

_“Hyung, I’m close.”_

_I bury my head into his neck as I approach climax._

_“Jongin-ah…ah…Jongin-ah…” Hyung was close too._

_“Let’s finish together, hyung…”_

_“Ah…Jongin-ah…_

_…Jongin-ah…_

…JONGIN-AH!!” I wake up in a puddle of drool on my neuroanatomy textbook.

I look behind me.

_ Good morning, Kyungsoo. I just had a sex dream about you. _

“It’s almost 7AM. Get ready for rounds. You stink.” Commanding me just like in my dream.

I stand up, hoping for him not to see the tent that formed in my scrub pants.

* * *

Donning a fresh set of scrubs, Kyungsoo and I went to rounds with Dr. Park.

“Dr. Kim, please present your patient.” Dr. Park seemed to be in a good mood today.

“We have here Mr. Ahn, 50 year old male who presented to the emergency complaining of a swollen eye and purulent nose discharge. ENT diagnosed bacterial rhinosinusitis and referred to neurosurgery due to concern for a cavernous sinus thrombosis. He underwent surgery and is now on his 7th post-op day and currently has no neurologic complaints.” I said while smiling at the patient. He smiled back.

“Good. Can you explain to Mr. Ahn’s why his nose infection eventually spread to the brain?”

“So it spread since the really thin anatomic barrier between the sinuses and the orbit basically broke, so nothing is containing the infection anymore in the sinuses.” Dr. Park nodded in agreement. The patient was nodding too.

I look to my back and see Kyungsoo smiling at me. He gave me a thumbs up. It was going to be a good day.

We saw Kyungsoo’s patient next.

“This is Mrs. Kang, a 69 year old female with a chief complaint of bilateral leg weakness and a spinal mass. An MRI revealed extensive necrosis of the intervertebral discs at T5-T8 with accompanying extension of the mass into the soft tissue. After doing a biopsy of the spinal mass, caseating granulomas were seen hence we diagnosed Mrs. Kang to have tuberculous osteomyelitis, also called Pott’s disease.” He said without blinking.  The patient was just staring at him, probably mesmerized by his incredibly handsome face. But also maybe she wasn't understanding what Kyungsoo is saying.

“Excellent. What’s next for this patient?” Dr. Park asked.

“She will undergo decompression later this afternoon.”

“Great. Have you…”  
“I’ve already obtained consent, booked an OR, and informed the anesthesiologist on duty today for Mrs. Kang’s surgery” He didn’t even know what Dr. Park was about to ask.

“Fantastic as always, isn’t he?” Dr. Park said to the patient.

“He is. So handsome, too!” Mrs. Kang replied while chuckling.

Kyungsoo gave a small bow to the patient as we left.

_ How can he be so fucking perfect. _

* * *

“Hey, I’m gonna stay here in the call room for lunch, I need to study.” I was going to present for the Grand Rounds later.

“Oh. Okay. I’ll stay here with you.” I didn’t expect that. Kyungsoo liked eating alone.

“Yeah, sure. You can order what you like.”

“Let’s get an order of tteokbokki to share.”

“Sounds great!” This is _not_ a date, Jongin.

I was really nervous for my presentation later. I was going to present in front of the entire department. I was so nervous I couldn’t even finish my portion of the tteokbokki.

“You seem nervous...” Kyungsoo asked. Thanks, Captain Obvious.

“Well, my job is at stake, so there’s that.” I replied while reading my notes for the nth time.

I bury my face into my notebook. “This is impossible.” I complained.

“It seems impossible until it’s done. Or something like that.” Kyungsoo quipped. “You’ll do great, Jongin.”

Hearing such comforting words from a person I like feels amazing. I sit back up and then an idea popped into my head.

“Hey, can you try asking me questions about my report?”

“Yeah, sure. Your report is on glioblastoma, right?”

“Yep.” Be professional Jongin. Do _not_ flirt.

“Hmm. Can you explain to me how the WHO classifies CNS tumors?” Easy.

“It’s from Grade 1 to 4. Grade 4 being the most aggressive. Glioblastoma is classified as Grade 4.”

“And the median survival for glioblastoma is?”

“10 to 12 months.”

“See, you’ll do fine. What else do you want me to ask you?”

I shot Kyungsoo a look. “You can ask me about my personal life.” _No_ , Jongin.

“Why would I ask about that? It’s a grand rounds, not speed dating.” Kyungsoo said with a laugh.

Okay, mission failed.

* * *

I set up my presentation at the auditorium at 3PM. People started trickling in. I was going to start in ten minutes.

I found Kyungsoo sitting at the side with the other residents. “Fighting!” he mouthed at me.

“Fighting.” I said while raising a fist discreetly.

Thankfully, the grand rounds went well. I was able to answer all our consultants’ questions. People clapped afterwards. Some of the professors and our senior residents told me I did a good job. Kyungsoo clapped for me, too.

Dr. Gong, our department chairman, wanted to see me after the Grand Rounds.

I knock on his office door and open it slightly. “You were looking for me, sir?” I ask nervously.

“Ah yes, Jongin. Please come in.”

Is this it? Am I going to get fired?

“Good job today at the grand rounds.” he said with his deep voice. He sounds like a news announcer.

“Thank you, sir.” I reply.

“Now, you know you’re at risk of getting kicked out, right?”

“Ah, yes sir.” I brace myself.

“Well, seeing how you’ve been performing for the past few weeks, plus your very good presentation earlier, I’ve decided to lift your probation.” he said with a smile.

My eyes light up. “Really, sir?”

“Yes. But now I will expect more from you, okay? Don’t let yourself go into probation again.”

“Thank you Dr. Gong, thank you so much.”

“Remember, you’re a doctor now. Not a student anymore that follows doctors around. You _are_ the doctor. And you need to step up because actual lives are in your hands and you need to learn from these patients.”

“Yes, Doctor. I’ll keep that it mind.” Let's keep our head in the game, Jongin.

My job (and my future) is safe.

As I go out Dr. Gong’s door, I saw Kyungsoo sprinting away going in the other direction. Was he eavesdropping?

I go to the residents’ computer room and see him there.

“Guys, I have good news…I’m staying!” I say to all our co-residents.

“Congratulations! Don’t miss any more diagnoses okay?” Dr. Choi said while giving me a pat on the back. 

“This calls for some soju later!” Dr. Park said.

Dr. Choi agreed. “Let’s! Everyone who’s off tonight needs to go okay? It’s Jongin’s treat.”

I didn’t say I’ll be buying drinks, but I might as well.

* * *

Five of us residents met up at a bar near the hospital at 10 PM.

Kyungsoo was there. He was wearing a black tee, jeans, and Chuck Taylors. _Don’t do it Jongin. Do not make a move._

Why was I even stopping myself?

I liked him. I _wanted_ him. Since med school.

Now’s my chance, isn’t it?

But wait, what if he’s a jerk all along? He can’t be, he’s so nice to everyone.

What if he’s straight? I can’t just _ask_ him. And no Jongin, don’t even think of getting Kyungsoo drunk and…no. Just no. Don’t be disgusting.

And I just realized, I knew nothing about him outside of work.

Why yes, I just had an internal crisis because I saw my hot co-worker in casual clothes for the first time. _God, he’s so attractive._

After sharing three bottles of soju, everyone was starting to get a bit tipsy. Doctors don’t hold their alcohol very well, it seems.

I was just observing how my co-workers are when they’re drunk.

“There was this one time I was assisting… Dr. Gong in surgery… and I really needed to go to the toilet…hahaha…I farted a bit and when Dr. Gong looked at me I said… ‘I think it was the suction, sir!’… Hahahaha!” said Dr. Choi, the sloppy drunk.

Dr. Park was the weepy, sad drunk. “I mean I _do_ want to be a doctor. But I just feel I kinda had no choice. Like, it’s _soooo_ hard to be a doctor’s kid. Everyone just expects you to be a doctor. Everyone just expects you to study, and study, and study a bit more. I’m... such a dull person…” I stroked her back to try to comfort her.

Dr. Jung, Dr. Park’s classmate, was the dancing drunk. We didn’t even get to talk to her since she was at the dance floor all the time.

Kyungsoo was the happy, touchy-feely drunk. He grabs Dr. Choi’s shoulder whenever he laughs to his stories. He claps while laughing at Dr. Jung who’s dancing to 2NE1’s “I Am The Best”. He buried his face into my arm one time while laughing, too.

His laugh.

His adorable fucking laugh.

The way his eyes crinkle when he laughs.

Those heart-shaped lips. _Who the hell has heart-shaped lips?_

Only Doh Kyungsoo. Graduated valedictorian from Seoul National University School of Medicine, now neurosurgery resident at one of Seoul’s best hospitals. Singer, actor, chef.

The love of my life.

_ I guess I’m the sentimental drunk tonight. _

* * *

We all went home at around 4 AM. 

I took Kyungsoo home, since he couldn't stand up on his own. I guess shorty doesn't know his limits.

I was carrying him by piggy back. I love him but I hope he doesn't vomit on my back.

"Kyungsoo, what's the passcode for the lock?" I put him down and put his arm over my shoulder. 

"4...6...8...2..." He was half-asleep.

"Okay, come on, we got this. One step at a time, okay, left...right..." It took about five minutes from the front door to his room. 

We got to his room. He's got a lot of books, no wonder he graduated at the top of our class.

"Okay, there. You okay?" I sat him up on his bed. 

"Hng...sleep..." 

"You want to sleep? Okay, okay." I take off his glasses, so he won't break them while sleeping.

We look at each other. 

The lights in his room were dimmed, but I can still see every detail of his face. My heart is beating a mile a minute. 

Then suddenly... _he kissed me._ A soft, tender kiss. I was too shocked to reciprocate.

_"I love you, Kim Jongin."_ Kyungsoo said, half-conscious.

Before I could say anything, he passed out.

I tucked him into bed and went on my way home.

I took a seat in a convenience store to get a hold of myself.

_What the hell just happened._


	4. What If

Kyungsoo called in sick the next morning. "You're going to have to cover his ORs." Dr. Park ordered.

"He's avoiding me." I thought. I was given additional work because of his absence, but I least I got a kiss last night. Go figure.

_But what did that kiss...mean? It sure meant something to me, but did it mean something for Kyungsoo?_

"Hey, you ok?" I texted Kyungsoo after finishing the morning's operations. "Really bad hangover. Sorry you had to cover for me." Kyungsoo replied.

"Should I call him? No, he's probably too hungover to talk properly. Does he even remember the kiss?" I _desperately_ wanted to know but did not want to push too hard.

I lay on my bunk bed clutching my phone to my chest.

"What if?" Just thinking about it made my heart race. 

The boy I liked during the entirety of med school...the boy _I still_ like...likes me back? 

I think about all the times in med school where Kyungsoo made my heart flutter. My favorite times were when he would act for the annual class performance. Every year he would join, and every year our class would win Best Performance all because of him. Every year he would make me melt into a puddle of feelings.

_It's still you, Kyungsoo. It's always been you._

_Do you feel the same way?_

* * *

I was on my day off the next day. Kyungsoo was the one at work. It seems that the universe did not want us to meet.

"I should go see him." I thought to myself. _Here I go again._

"But what if he's too busy? I might be a distraction...What if he doesn't want to talk about it? What if he forgot he kissed me?" I was pacing in my apartment. 

I decided to spend the day cleaning my apartment top to bottom, watching variety shows, and studying. But all I could think about was the kiss.

_That damn kiss. Why did he have to kiss me?_

It's 6 PM. Maybe he'll have dinner first before scrubbing in tonight's ORs. "Hey! How's work?" I text Kyungsoo in hopes of sparking a conversation. 

6:30 PM. No reply.

7 PM. Still nothing. "He's too busy, Jongin..." I lay down on my sofa feeling defeated.

_Please let me know, Kyungsoo. Just let me know._

But what good would it mean if he confessed? If I confessed? Are we going to date? What are people going to say? Are they going to fire us? What if we break up in the middle of residency? 

"Someone might leave the hospital..." Maybe I was a tad bit overthinking. Just a smidge. 

_I want to, but I don't. I push, then I pull back._

_Love is, and always will be, a gamble._

Love versus career. The eternal problem for most doctors.

"Is asking for both too much? Am I being too greedy?" I am, once again, having an existensial crisis.

_ We'll cross that bridge when we get there.  _

* * *

I was back at work the next day. I returned to the call room for lunch after seeing outpatients in the morning with Dr. Gong. 

Kyungsoo was there. "Finally!" I accidentally said out loud.

"What do you mean?" Kyungsoo's eyes widened. Those damn big eyes. 

"Um, uh..." _What now, Jongin?_ "Uh...nothing! I mean finally it's lunch time!" Inner Jongin just made a facepalm.

"Yeah...lunch." Kyungsoo seemed weirded out.

"Uh...do you want to eat with me?" I asked. 

"Sure." The reply seemed forced. 

Lunch was awkward. Kyungsoo and I knew something was up. 

"Is...something wrong?" I asked Kyungsoo. He was fiddling with vegetables with his fork.

"Jongin, I...I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." Kyungsoo shifted his gaze towards me. 

I felt a knot in my stomach. He shouldn't be sorry. 

"No, Kyungsoo...don't worry about that...I..." _Fuck it._ "Look, Kyungsoo...I..."

_*BEEP BEEP BEEP*_ Kyungsoo's pager went off. 

"It's an emergency OR. Talk to you later?" Kyungsoo grabbed his white coat and ran off.

You know that feeling when you feel the urge to sneeze but can't? It kinda felt that way. 

I go back to the call room and throw myself on my bunk.

"Maybe...maybe I shouldn't confess." The sudden page was probably a sign from the universe.

I started making a mental list of the pros and cons of dating Kyungsoo.

"Well, obvious pro, I get to date my dream guy." Maybe that fact itself was enough.

"Cons...well, dating a co-worker probably isn't a good idea...but, it's Kyungsoo..." I bury my face into my pillow.

"Jeez, Jongin. You don't even know if Kyungsoo likes you back..." I say to myself, sighing.

"Well, he did kiss me...on the lips. And he said he loved me. But he was drunk..." The way I'm agonizing about this makes me feel like a teenager again. "Doh Kyungsoo!! Why do you make me feel like this?!" 

_They say drunken words are sober thoughts._

* * *

I woke up to the sound of the door opening. I hadn't realized that I'd fallen asleep.

"Hey, it's 7 PM. You're on call tonight." It was Kyungsoo.

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I'll get dressed." I get up and go to the bathroom to put on my scrubs. 

I'd already put on my scrub pants when I felt something on my chest. My heart was beating fast. "This is it. I need to tell him. I'm going to tell him."

I storm out of the bathroom.  Kyungsoo was startled.

"Doh Kyungsoo! Look, you remember what happened that night, right? I just wanted to let you know...that you don't have to apologize...You don't have to say sorry. Because..." I was rambling. 

"Because I like you Kyungsoo. I've liked you since med school. Be with me, Kyungsoo! There, I said it. Holy shit, I said it." I had to catch my breath. 

Kyungsoo was just staring at me. He gulped so hard I saw his Adam's Apple bobbing. "Jongin...please wear something on top..." he said looking away from me.

Holy shit, I forgot to put on my scrub top. "I'm sorry...uh...one second." I go back to the bathroom and hurriedly put on the piece of clothing.

"Let's...sit down." Kyungsoo said.

It was an awkward five minutes before someone said something.

"Jongin, I...I can't give you an answer yet. Everything's going so fast..." 

"I'm sorry it was so sudden, Kyungsoo." I became embarassed, but I guess the heart wants what it wants. 

"No, don't worry about it. I...just can't give you an answer yet." Kyungsoo couldn't look at me.

_*BEEP BEEP BEEP*_ It was my pager this time. "I have to go..." I left Kyungsoo in the call room, who still looked distraught after I confessed my feelings for him half naked. 

_Saved by the bell. Or should I say saved by the pager?_

I put on my white coat while walking. "Well, the cat's out of the bag now." I tell myself. It feels like a big weight has gotten off my chest, but now I have to wait for an answer. 

The emergency craniotomy finished around midnight.  I go back to the call room. 

Kyungsoo was lying on the top bunk, facing the wall. He seemed asleep. I sat on a chair so as to not acidentally fall asleep again.

"Hey, I don't know if you'll hear this, but...maybe you'll consider?" I say in a low voice to the top bunk.

"You're a really amazing guy. I mean, you're nice to everyone. You're nice to _me._ Like, really nice. You're an angel." I wish he wasn't hearing this sappiness. "You're a great cook...a great actor...remember when we had class performances in med school? You were always the one I was looking forward to watch. Every year! And if ever we date...I'm sure the people here will be okay about it...don't worry. We'll figure out the logistics."

Before I spill out any more of my feelings, I get paged again. "Ugh, I just sat down..." Such is life in residency. I gulp down a glass of water and make my way out. 

"I love you too...Kyungsoo." I whisper before closing the door. 

_You're the risk I'm willing to take._

* * *

Page after page after page after page. A stroke in the ER, then another emergency craniotomy, then someone coded in the wards, then I was asked to do FIVE lumbar taps. I was literally running around the hospital. They don't call interns the "foot soldiers of medicine" for nothing. 

Before I knew it, it was almost 9 AM. My shift was supposed to end at 7.

I took the elevator with Dr. Park. I was working with her during the night.

"Great job tonight, Jongin." she said, barely keeping her eyes open. I was on the verge of collapsing too.

"You too, Dr. Park. I think I'm gonna sleep here first before heading home." I suddenly thought of something. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot." She was leaning on a corner of the elevator with her eyes closed. 

"Say you confessed your feelings for someone, and you want them to be your significant other. But they tell you that they can't give you an answer yet. What would you do?" I wasn't sure why I was asking Dr. Park this. Maybe I just wanted to tell someone.

She suddenly stood up and opened her eyes. "Are we talking about someone in particular?" _Did she know something?_

"Uh, no...not really." I said nervously.

"Hmm. We're neurosurgeons, we don't deal with matters of the heart. But to answer your question...you wait. That's the most logical thing to do." It was a cold but confident answer.

"I see..." She's right.

"Well, that is, if that person is worth the wait of course. If that person _isn't_ worth waiting for, then you probably shouldn't have confessed in the first place."

Kyungsoo _is_ worth the wait. He is. "Thanks, Dr. Park. You always know what to say."

"They didn't make me chief resident for nothing. See ya!" We went our separate ways.

I felt like a zombie entering the call room. There was something on the table. I check it out hoping it's food.

I was a plate covered with another plate. There was a post-it note that said, "To Jongin. You did great today. From Kyungsoo."

_Holy shit._

I uncover the plate.

On it was an omelette, with something...written on it. With ketchup.

"I like you too." 

_I guess I didn't have to wait any longer._


	5. Cloud 9

An omelet. _A fucking omelet._

This is...this is probably the most on-brand thing he has done to me.

My heart is pounding.

I jump up and down in the call room. Holy shit. _Holy fucking shit._

I read the ketchup-y writing again word by word.

_I. like. you. too._

I gasp and cover my mouth.

“I can’t believe this is happening!” I say to myself. 

I grab my phone to text Kyungsoo.

 _Wait, no_.

“Should I wait for him? I should just wait for him.”

I take a seat to try to calm myself down.

 _“I like you too.”_ I keep staring at the damn omelet.

“I want to eat it. I’m starving.” My stomach growls. “Okay, I’m eating it.”

I take a picture of it first before eating. It’s not everyday your dream guy confesses through an omelet.

The omelet was so _so good._ How can Kyungsoo make something so simple yet so...divine? I fell in love even more.

I first ate the part where “too” was written. _“I like you”_ said the omelet.

I chuckle.

“You’re crazy, Kyungsoo.” It’s a weird way to confess but also so endearing. Only Kyungsoo can probably think of doing that. I was over the moon. My exhaustion from the previous night was completely wiped away.

I finish the omelet then I went to the ORs to try to look for Kyungsoo.

_What happened to waiting, Jongin?_

I scan the OR board for his name.

“Assisting surgeon...there! Doh Kyungsoo.” He’s in OR 6 for a tumor resection.

“That could take hours...” I just had to see him.

I peek through the small window on the operating room’s door. I see him.

_The love of my life._

The OR lights reflect on his glasses so I can’t see his face clearly. But I know it’s him. No one else wears thick black frames in the department. His glasses are taped to his nose so they won’t fall off when he bends his head. He looks so fucking cool but also _so so cute._

“I wonder if he’s also stepping on a stool?” I hide a laugh under my surgical mask.

_He’s not that small, Jongin._

I look at the clock. Only two hours into the surgery. I go back to the call room and force myself to sleep.

“Doh Kyungsoo!!” I shout while I curl up in fetal position being all giddy.

“Gosh, I love you so much...you’re crazy.” I put my arm behind my head.

I try to think of what to say when I see him but my exhausted eyes give way.

* * *

I wake up in a daze. I must’ve been really tired. My phone says it’s 6 PM now.

I roll around my bed to face away from the wall.

_Kyungsoo’s there._

He’s sitting on a chair having coffee.

I jolt up from my bed. “Doh Kyung...ow!!” My head hit the bed frame.

Kyungsoo lets out a hearty laugh. I wouldn’t mind if he’s the one laughing at me.

“Kim Jongin...”

I walk towards him and give him a hug. The bear hug I’ve been longing to give him ever since. He was startled but hugs back. 

“Doh Kyungsoo...you’re crazy...” I say to him, close to tears.

Kyungsoo chuckles lightly. “Did you see the omelet?” he asks.

“Of course I saw it. I wouldn’t be hugging you like this if didn’t.” I reply, still not breaking the hug. “I ate the entire thing.”

“Did you like it?”

“The omelet itself? Loved it. The confession written in ketchup...”

He pushes me away lightly. “Yah! You didn’t like that? It was better than you confessing without a shirt on...” Kyungsoo teased.

I giggle. “I loved it. So so much. It was very _you._ ”

We hold hands. I dreamed of this moment for years, and I can’t believe it’s finally happening.

We smile at each other. Those damn heart shaped lips making the best smile in the world.

“Can I have this dance?” I ask him.

“Suddenly?” Kyungsoo replied while laughing.

I choose a song on my phone.

> _“We could leave the Christmas lights up ‘til January...”_

“A Taylor Swift song? What a romantic...” he’s teasing me. I blush.

He puts his hands around my waist and places his head on the crook of my neck. I place my hands on his waist. We close our eyes and start swaying to the song.

> _“Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?”_

This moment. Just me and Kyungsoo. In our hospital-issued scrubs. In the middle of this dingy call room. Our own world.

> _“Can I go where you go?_
> 
> _Can we always be this close?”_

It was pure bliss. 

> _“Forever and ever_
> 
> _Take me out, and take me home”_

I start whispering the song to him.

> _“You’re my, my, my, my...”_

He whispers it back.

> _"...lover.”_

_*BEEP BEEP BEEP*_ Reality bites. It was Kyungsoo’s pager.

“Ah...” we break away from the trance.

“I’m sorry. You should go home, Jongin. Get some rest. I’ll call you later.”

“Don’t leave me...” I say to him with a pouty face.

“You’re too cute.” He pinches my cheeks. “I’m sorry, Jongin. Duty calls...” he says with a sigh.

Kyungsoo grabs his white coat and heads towards the door.

“I love you!” I shout at him.

“I love you too.” he replies while smiling.

* * *

I went home and threw myself on my bed. I wrap myself in my blanket. It was warm and cozy, just like Kyungsoo’s embrace.

“So, that means we’re together now, right?” I ask myself.

Oh shit, I forgot to ask him that. I just wanted to make sure this this wasn’t a dream.

I open Kyungsoo’s Facebook profile. As any person with a huge crush would, I’d look at pictures of him from time to time.

The class presentations. The time he sang for an event in school. I stumble upon a picture of him and his friend during our graduation where I was accidentally caught in the background.

_Who knew, Kyungsoo?_

I definitely didn’t. I couldn’t even talk to him in med school.

An hour had passed when I heard the doorbell. I wasn’t expecting anyone.

My heart jumped when I opened the door and see Kyungsoo.

“What are you doing here?!” I ask.

“I’m going to have dinner with my boyfriend.” He lets himself in.

 _My boyfriend. My. boyfriend._ Did that answer your question, Jongin?

I was so caught off guard I couldn’t say anything. My mouth was hanging open, too.

“I bought pork belly, with all the side dishes. I hope you have rice though!” He takes out the containers from the plastic bag he was carrying. “Yah! What are you doing? Close the door...” he tells me while laughing.

“Uh, yeah...I have rice.” I close the front door and get the rice from a cupboard. “So, uh...is this a date?” I ask him.

“Do you want it to be a date?”

Inner Jongin just had a nosebleed. “Yes. It’s a date!”

We set the delicious spread on the table together.

We sit facing each other. We’d eat together in the hospital, but this was special since we were _actually together._

“Thank you for the meal!” I shout happily. Kyungsoo look pleased.

We didn’t talk during the meal. I guess we were both hungry. Aside from the delicious food, seeing Kyungsoo eat also makes me so _so_ happy. My boyfriend. I still can’t believe it. _My boyfriend._

Kyungsoo wanted to watch anime after dinner.

We were on the couch, and I lay my head on his lap. Kyungsoo chuckles.

“You’re cute.” he says while playing with my hair.

I was looking at him while smiling. “Did you like me even before residency?”

“I did. I just couldn’t act on it because...I didn’t really have any experience in that department.”

How I wish we became together in med school.

“We wasted so much time, Kyungsoo...but I couldn’t even talk to you back then.” I say to him.

“Same here. I guess I was just too shy.”

“You just looked so...intimidating? I don’t know. Maybe I just didn’t have the guts.”

“Me? Intimidating?”

I smile shyly. “Well, you just kinda had that vibe around you. But I realize now that you’re a smol. Smol with an O.”

“Who are you calling small? I’ll break your kneecaps!”

We laugh together.

“I wish you came to me after our class performances. You watched every year, right?” Kyungsoo said.

“Hm, how did you know that? Did you hear me that one time in the callroom?”

“I did, yeah.” he said while chuckling. “I heard everything, Jongin.”

I cover my face with my hands. “I’m sorry, that was so embarassing.”

“No, no...not at all.” he replies, continuing to stroke through my hair. “I watched your performances in med school, too. When you would dance during those organization recruitment festivals. You were president of the dance society at one point, right?”

“I was.” I blushed even more because he knew that about me. “Did you know I was going to SGH for residency?”

“I didn’t, actually...I guess it was...destiny?” he smiles at me. “When they wanted to fire you...I was so scared. I didn’t want you to go.”

I can see the concern in his eyes. I became silent.

“But I knew you could do it. You just needed a little push.”

A person who believes in you. The best feeling ever.

“Are we keeping this a secret at work?”

“People are going to find out eventually, but...we’ll figure it out. Don’t worry.” he says while fixing his glasses.

“We’ll figure it out...together.” I smile at him.

“Together.” He smiles back.

“Hey, do you want to cuddle?” I ask him.

“Okay.” We shifted positions.

“Big spoon or little spoon?”

“I’ll be little spoon then. I want to see the TV.”

We lie down on our sides on the couch. Kyungsoo was in front of me, and I put an arm around his chest.

“See? You’re a smol.” I tease him.

“Don’t make me crush your balls.” He says jokingly.

In that moment, everything just fell into place. The longing turned into warmth. The doubt into certainty.

“Is your pager off?”

“It is. Just you and I tonight.” He holds my hand wrapped around him.

_Let’s just stay like this forever._


End file.
